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Fog Advisory Area: Hunger Amidst Plenty

2012-05-25T23:36:01Z

Hunger Amidst Plenty

“The poor here have plenty compared to those in some countries.” Often this is said just before a person tells me that he/she is unwilling to help the poor in our community because they really aren’t as desperate as they pretend. Well, I don’t know how to answer that. I’ve seen the bloated bellies of undernourished children in other countries, and I can see that our country is very different.

But if a kid is hungry, it doesn’t really matter if ALL the kids are hungry or if it’s just him. It may be even worse to think that ANY child in a country such as ours goes hungry when there is such an abundance of food just thrown out every day. Grocery stores, restaurants, and families throw away tons of food every day, and yet there are still people who go to bed hungry. If you live in a country where there is not enough food being produced to feed the children, then it’s at least understandable that people will go hungry, but in countries like ours, there is no excuse. Here are several articles which talk about food waste in different places. The first one is actually written by a man in Melbourne, Australia, and his experience at an “all you can eat” restaurant in Melbourne.

http://kitchendojo.com/on-throwing-food-away/

http://www.culinate.com/articles/features/wasted_food

http://www.epa.gov/osw/conserve/materials/organics/food/fd-basic.htm

Action Ministries in Rome has found many sources of food in our own community, including restaurants, grocery stores, coffee shops, pharmacies, and groups having parties and celebrations that have left-over food. Most of these places love to find a place for the left-over food. They don’t want to throw it away, but just don’t see any other options. It takes a little work on someone’s part, though, to coordinate getting the food from where it is not needed to where it is needed. Some stores may deliver food to the Action Ministries warehouse and some may call and have it picked up by volunteers or staff of Action Ministries. Think of this as an opportunity for volunteer service in your community. Every Sunday afternoon Bill (my husband) leaves about four o’clock, picks up food at the Country Club, Starbucks, and CVS, and delivers it to the Shelter, or sometimes to other places if the shelter doesn’t need it. I’m not saying this to pat him on the back. I’m just saying that it is a way community members can contribute to solving this problem of wasted food and hunger.

Fog Advisory Area: It Sounds Like a Party!

2012-05-17T01:32:32Z

Last Saturday was the “Letter Carriers’ Food Drive.” The USPS asked people to put canned goods and other nonperishable food items in/on their mail boxes and they would collect and distribute to those helping hungry folks. Cathy Aiken-Freeman, Bill, and I were there at five O’clock Saturday afternoon to pick up food for Action Ministries. The folks helping to assimilate the cans and other items were working hard, and we even got to help them before picking up our food.

Later, we were deciding whether to take the food straight to the pantry, or wait until Monday when people were there to unload. John, getting food for the STARR House, offered to bring some of the pantry food in his truck and bring men to help unload. When Bill asked Cathy if she was coming to unload her car, she said, “Well, I wasn’t going to, but now it sounds like a party, so I’ll come!” It’s people like Cathy that make helping others a blessing! She has a wonderful sense of humor and a positive attitude that always makes me smile.

It was amazing how much food was collected for the hungry in our community by these letter carriers! It just gives me a good feeling to know that efforts such as these go on every day in our community. Often no one knows the time and effort that is put into this kind of project by a relatively small group of caring people. Several different groups benefited from the food drive held by the letter carriers.

Fog Advisory Area: Extra Beds and Unworn Coats

2012-05-12T01:42:17Z

As I see people on the street with little to wear and who appear cold, I envision my closet which I can hardly cram all my coats into. However, when I look in the closet and think about giving some of my coats away, I keep thinking “I might wear that” and keep most of them. Then I think of those who have no place to sleep, and I think of beds in my house which are seldom used. I can drown in guilt if I allow myself to think of how much I have and how little some people have. How do I deal with this guilt?

I decided to do a little research on the idea of a guilty conscience. I learned that the phrase was the name of a band, the title to a rap song, and the name of a writer’s web site. According to a free on-line dictionary a guilty conscience is “remorse caused by feeling responsible for some offense.” I really don’t feel responsible for the misfortune of others, but I feel like I am so fortunate that I should help them. When I don’t, I feel selfish.

First of all, I know that I can’t take care of all the people who have needs. At the same time, I don’t want to be selfish, using my resources without consideration for those without any. The thing is, wallowing in guilt does not solve the problem. What I’ve decided is that I need to find ways to increase my ability to be generous with others.

One thing I’ve learned is that I am more likely to be generous when I really see a need. What that means for me is that I have to put myself in a position to know some poor people well enough to recognize their needs. One of the things I’ve tried to do in the last year or so is to visit those in the shelters and get to know them.

A few weeks before Christmas I was pulling out some of my Christmas vests and sweaters and found a long-sleeve knit shirt decorated with holly that I had received as a gift the previous year, but it was very small and I knew I would not wear it. I immediately thought of one of the women at the shelter who was very small. I thought “I bet she could wear this!” Had I not known her, I would probably have just put the shirt back in the drawer. As I get to know these men and women, I also get to know their needs, their likes, and dislikes in a way that allows me to care for them and meet a few of their needs.

I still have too many clothes not being worn and beds that are not used, but I believe that as I invest my time and life in those less fortunate, I begin to be more generous and less self-centered.

Fog Advisory Area: Us and Them

2012-04-27T11:28:20Z

Several years ago while teaching school, I directed a one-act play called “Us and Them” written by David Campton. In the play two families are wandering around, looking for a place to live. They agree to share a space and mark the line between their territories. At first they live side by side peacefully, but eventually they build a fence between them. As time went on the fence was built higher and higher until they could not see over. Then they got suspicious of one another. In the end the two groups explode in conflict. I think the play has lots to say about the way our society has become, particularly as it relates to the rich and the poor.

As the gap widens between the “haves and have nots” the perceptions become more and more distorted, and that adds to the problem of closing the gap. Many people who have lots of resources glibly imply that if “those people” would just get out and get a job, they would not be asking for a hand-out. On the other side of the gap, the poor often think that the people with money are uncaring and unwilling to help people who have fallen on hard times. Neither perception is accurate. While we all know lazy people and we all know stingy people, we find them all along the economical ladder. If we get to know people on both sides of the chasm we realize that plenty of poor people work hard and plenty of rich people are very generous.

I read an article in “The Observer,” a newsletter of the University Notre Dame and Saint Mary’s College, where a man named Willie Baptist (that’s his name, not his denomination), a scholar and an activist for poverty, who had once been homeless, had spoken to a group at the school. He said, “The public perception of homelessness as a self-inflicted condition has presented an obstacle to fighting the issue because it overlooks the knowledge and talents of homeless people.… Despite the public opinion of homeless people as those who can’t fight for themselves, there’s a rich reservoir of geniuses having to manipulate with meager means how to get from one day to another, but we allow that to lay waste in considering the consequences of poverty.” If you want to read the entire article, go to http://www.ndsmcobserver.com/news/activist-shares-story-of-poverty-1.2850587 .

On the other hand, many of the rich are very generous. In an article in the Business Insider, titled “The 25 Most Generous People in America” (http://www.businessinsider.com/these-are-the-25-most-generous-people-in-america-2012-2) the writer gave pictures and a little information about each of the generous Americans who gave away millions of dollars to good causes in 2011. Although I was impressed with the amounts these people gave away, I also noticed that most of the gifts were given to colleges and universities, a few to medical research, and several to various charitable foundations. None went specifically to help hungry or homeless people in America. I think it illustrates a point I’m trying to make that there is such a tremendous gap between the rich and the poor that those very generous people often do not view the poor as being worthy of their gifts.

Having said this, I do know lots of generous people who are giving back to those in their communities because they make the effort to get to know those around them and to close the gap between the “haves and have nots” in their own world. It takes work to get to know the needs of your neighbors, and unfortunately we live in a society where we often do not know the person living next door. In a Bible study class recently, I heard several stories from people who said that their close neighbors had been ill for weeks or months before they even knew about it. It’s no wonder we don’t care for one another. We don’t know each other!

Fog Advisory Area: Outlive Your Life

2012-04-20T00:21:53Z

Dr. Harry Rowland led a session at my church on Wednesday night in a series called "Outlive Your Life." The study is based on the book of Acts and uses a video based on Max Lucado's book by the same title. I have not read the book, but there is a review of it at http://paulburkhart.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/review-outlive-your-life-by-max-lucado/ by a man named Paul who is a mental health social worker in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. This man was not entirely complimentary of the book, but he gave a good bit of helpful information about it.

One thing I liked about the session was Dr. Rowland's pointed commentary about compassion for the poor as priority in the teachings of Jesus. He cited Luke 4:14-21, where Jesus declares that he comes to "preach good news to the poor...proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed...." He went on to talk about Acts 6:1-7, which we often use to talk about the appointing of the first deacons, but his point was that the "best and the brightest" were chosen to deal with this difficult task of aiding the poor. Finally, he cited Acts 3:10, where Peter heals the crippled beggar. In this passage, Rowland pointed out that here Peter gives attention to what the beggar needs most, which is sight, not money. He needed someone to really look at his needs, not just throw money at him.

Another thing which made Dr. Rowland's session helpful was that he wasn't talking as an authority, or even a good example. Throughtout his presentation he admitted his own failure to live up to making compassion for the poor a priority as Jesus did, yet being willing to admit that he should be doing just that. He also pointed out that serving the poor is "rocket science"--it's not easy, and that's why we should appoint our most able people to help find solutions to this difficult problem.

Thank you, Harry, for your humble and helpful comments on the problem of poverty.

(Dr. Rowland is the Missional Networks Specialist for Cooperative Baptist Fellowship.)

Fog Advisory Area: Employment Issues

2012-04-16T02:07:19Z

Unemployment has been high in recent years and we often see controversies over who is to blame. People need to work to make a living--right? There are those who only see things from this vantage point, but others look at more than that. They look at the long term, maybe how the work may impact the environment, or moral issues relating to the product being made and sold. We like to think that there are simple solutions to these kinds of problems, but sometimes there really aren’t.

I remember as a kid growing up, one of the ways my parents made a living was to raise and sell tobacco. I never questioned that. As a child I didn't even know tobacca was harmful. Later, I came to wonder about making money from the production of a product that was obviously harmful to the body. But people in my community were often dependent on tobacco for their livelihood, and comments about not producing tobacco because it was harmful to the body were not looked upon kindly.

Like tobacco production, many other employment issues seem much simpler than they really are. In Appalachia, Mountain Top Removal of coal is another controversial issue in many of the areas, especially in Kentucky and West Virginia. Environmentalists argue that it is damaging to the land and to the residents, and coal companies argue that they are providing jobs for the residents. The residents themselves are divided on the issue. It's easy when we don't live there to believe there are easy solutions, but rather than to tell you what I think I'm going to ask you to do a little reading on the issue yourself. I've found a couple of articles which might be helpful, but in looking at them you'll find others if you're interested.

http://www.blackdiamondsmovie.com/

http://appvoices.org/2011/08/14/fact-checking-cnns-new-documentary-about-mountaintop-removal-the-jobs-vs-environment-frame-is-dead-wrong-once-again/

Keep in mind that my goal is to drag you along with me in sorting out ideas about poverty issues which may require us to think more deeply and even change our views of the poor at times. I do not wish to change your view to mine necessarily, but to ask you to be willing to consider new perspectives on these issues.

Fog Advisory Area: Poverty and Parenting

2012-04-09T19:26:52Z

I thought the following article was interesting and decided to let you look at it instead of writing one of my own this week.
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/20/are-poor-parents-poorer-at-parenting/

Fog Advisory Area: Generosity

2012-04-01T18:44:16Z

When we think of being generous, we often think of the “haves,” not the “have-nots.” Most of the time we think that poor people don’t really have anything to give to others, but maybe we need to rethink this.

Generosity, like most other traits among people, is a trait that people can exhibit, regardless of their position in life. In my previous post I mentioned the “Appalachian Trials” readings which I attended last week. One of them contained a story about these people who drew a welfare check each month and they helped each other out until they got checks. If one of them ran out of food before they got a check, others in the neighborhood would share their food.

The reading reminded me of a story related to me by a good friend. She said that she had taken some food to a lady who was very poor and needed some help. Later the lady called her and said, “I just wanted to know if it would be all right for me to give part of this food to my neighbor. She has very little food and we usually share what we have with each other.” Of course my friend told her that she could certainly share the food with her friend. Another thing I remembered was the time we were finished distributing food at the Christian Church, and just as we had given out the last meal, another person walked up needing food. As we told him that the bags were all gone, one of those leaving turned around and handed one of his bags of food to the person needing help.

So it’s not how much you have that determines whether you can be generous; it’s just how willing you are to share what you have.

Fog Advisory Area: Appalachian Trials

2012-03-23T19:15:23Z

I attended a reader’s theater production called “Appalachian Trials” (NO, not Trails) last Monday at Berry and Tuesday at First Baptist Church. The readings included many good Kentucky authors. First of all, Dr. Randy Richardson’s students did an excellent job of presenting some of the poverty issues in the area where I lived the first twenty-six years of my life. Second, the readings gave lots of “food for thought” regarding the plight of the poor anywhere, not just in Appalachia. In today’s post I want to share just one idea that I had not thought much about.

In one of the readings, a woman had bought a painting of the Lord’s Supper. Someone criticized her because she spent money on a piece of art when her children needed shoes. Her response was that when she went to church the next Sunday, people would notice that her children needed shoes and someone would give them some, but no one would notice that they needed art. It was a truth that I do not often think about. We focus so much on providing food and clothing for the poor and sometimes forget that they need so much more. The following are just a few thoughts about cultural deprivation.

My own experience in Southeastern Kentucky was that I had plenty of food, clothing, and a good warm place to live. I actually felt that I was much more fortunate than most of those in my community. I never realized that I was missing anything until I got to college and realized that many of the other students had been exposed to much more in terms of literature, music, art and travel. Appalachian children today may have a little more exposure to the arts than I did, but we didn’t know we were poor until someone told us. In one of the readings, the writer said that she didn’t know she was deprived until someone told her and then she tried to “dredge up” some sort of feelings of deprivation. I kind of felt the same way; I was fine until someone told me I had lacked these things.

Some conclusions:

(1) I want to be more aware of the reality that the poor can only make progress as they experience more than just the things necessary to live. Sometimes we might do well to share tickets to a concert, a trip to an art exhibit, or a good book with the poor.

(2) I want to be less critical when the poor splurge a little and spend some money on a luxury beyond food and clothing.

Expect to hear more insights from “Appalachian Trials” in future posts.

Fog Advisory Area: Mistakes We Make

2012-03-19T00:43:39Z

We all make mistakes, right? We make a bad judgment about a friend, a bad choice of who to trust, or a bad investment or a purchase that was a waste of money. Some mistakes make a bigger impact than others, depending on your circumstance. It is often not the mistake itself that is the problem, but the context in which the mistake is made. The first two years I taught school, money was tight. Most of the time I made wise decisions, but occasionally I didn’t. When I was planning my wedding, I bought a set of china that I later realized was a poor choice, and I’d spent a good bit of money. The mistake, however, did not have a serious impact on my life. The next year, after my wedding, I bought a nice wedding album from a salesman who visited our home. I was astonished when my new husband did not approve. As a young couple with very little money, the amount was significant enough that he thought we should have made the decision together—and he was right of course. So, our mistakes are often significant or not depending on our situations.

Now let’s think about poor people, those on the verge of becoming homeless. Do you think they’re any less likely to make mistakes regarding their lives? I’m thinking they’re about like I am in that regard—making some good choices and some bad.

If you make several million dollars a year, a $100 mistake in purchasing is not an issue, but if you’re living on minimum wage, it could cause you to go without groceries, or get you evicted from your apartment. Now you may be saying, “But people living on minimum wage should know that they can’t afford to make that kind of mistake; they don’t have extra money to throw away.” I agree, but I realize that when I have made mistakes like that, I don’t usually say, “Well, I think I can afford to throw some money away today.” I just see something that seems reasonable to buy and I buy it. It’s only later that I realize it wasn’t a good idea—and even then someone else may have to tell me it wasn’t a good idea.

Let’s think about other types of mistakes that impoverished and homeless people often make. Recently Angie, a girl living in the shelter, found a friend that really seemed to understand her. The other girl lived with some girls in an apartment downtown and began encouraging Angie to come join them. Angie knew that if she left the shelter she could not go back, so she gave it some serious thought. In the end though, it was appealing and she left the shelter to share an apartment with her friends. Three weeks later, she became aware that her friends were involved in drugs, and they were not the kind of people she thought they were. She was frightened and realized she’d made a big mistake, but she could not afford to pay for an apartment with her meager salary. She wished she had stayed where she was. For some people, making a mistake about choosing a friend would be just a matter of dropping the friend from their social activities, but for people like Angie, it may become a major crisis.

Before I become too critical of people like Angie, I’m trying to realize that we all make mistakes, but people who are on the fringe of society may suffer much more for their mistakes than I do.

Fog Advisory Area: Serving Those Who Have Served

2012-03-09T23:48:59Z

Not long ago a former resident of the homeless shelter in our town died as a result of being doused with a flammable liquid and set on fire. Unfortunately he was not known in the town so his body was not claimed for a considerable time. My husband finally learned about his death and told the coroner that he was a veteran. Soon it was established that he was a 16-year veteran of the Vietnam War. Eventually he was buried in the national cemetery and given a memorial service by a few people who knew him through a local food pantry and the homeless shelter.

The truth is, more and more often when you see a homeless person you are looking at a former serviceman who served our country in Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, or some other place. According to Veterans, Inc. (http://www.veteransinc.org), veterans are twice as likely as other Americans to become chronically homeless. Why? The reasons listed are many. But as you can imagine, combat-related physical and mental health issues often contribute to substance abuse problems that interfere with job retention. It is estimated that about one third of the adult homeless population are veterans.

It’s seems sad to me that a person who has served our country well would then have to go hungry and homeless. Why doesn’t the government do something, you may ask. Well, according to Veterans, Inc., and the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans, the government does address the problem through the Department of Veteran Affairs.

President Obama has a great increase in funds for homeless veterans in his proposed 2013 budget and has a vision of ending veteran homelessness by 2015. You can see a detailed explanation of the proposal on the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans website (http://www.nchv.org). In any government program, the specific criteria may eliminate some people from receiving help, not to mention the difficult paperwork required to navigate government bureaucracy.

Many veterans don’t get the help they need during difficult economic times like we’ve had over the last few years, and the specific needs and situations of some veterans may create problems for them. One reality is that most homeless people (including veterans) are single men, and most federal housing money is devoted to helping homeless families or women with dependent children.

Organizations like Veterans, Inc. are there to give many needed services through employment and training programs, health and wellness program, and other services designed specifically for veterans. There are also local government and faith-based programs in many communities designed specifically to help veterans. They also need volunteers, so if you are concerned about homeless veterans, why not look for ways you can help?

Fog Advisory Area: Cultural Values and Poverty

2012-03-03T21:25:06Z

Making a research assignment to my high school English students, I was all excited about what they could learn about a variety of subjects. I made a statement to the effect that research was really fun and exciting. A boy in the front of the room raised his hand and said, “Mrs. Davies, did anyone ever tell you that you’re kind of weird?” I told him that they hadn’t, but that I was sure they had thought it. Well, anyway, I DO love to do research. One of the things I’ve been thinking about since I’ve been blogging about poverty and homelessness is how these issues are different in other cultures. I began by thinking about migrant peoples who never had permanent homes, and then progressed to thinking about what different cultures might value besides owning a home. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and talking to people who have lived in other countries and concluded that this may be a bigger research project than I had thought!

I’m not going to burden you with a research format (citing sources, etc.), but I wanted to share a few ideas for you to “chew on” regarding the relationship between cultural values and poverty and/or homelessness.

First of all, in a country like ours, which is made up of so many different cultures, it is very difficult to ascertain dominant cultural values. However, there are a few patterns.

In the U.S. three cultural values kept appearing—individualism, equality, and freedom. In more collectivistic societies, group harmony, family relationships, spirituality, and hierarchical structure of authority were shown as the dominant values.

Steven Phillip Brown, in his article “Cultural Values and Personal Ethics,” said “I view cultural values as a great way to understand someone’s [personal] values.” (Sorry, I couldn’t resist citing this one!) In light of his statement, I thought about how cultural values in the U.S. may impact both the fact of homelessness and how we deal with it. It’s almost impossible to compare the reality of poverty/homelessness in different countries because living conditions are so different and the method of collecting data is not consistent. In some countries, the whole country may be living in what we would consider substandard conditions. What I can do is to offer some possibilities regarding how our values might play out in regard to poverty issues.

Let’s look at two of the top cultural values—individualism and equality. These are good things, right? Most of us believe that being able to achieve whatever we want to do as equals is wonderful, and so it is for most of us. But let’s think for a moment about my Uncle Charlie, who lived with my family during all my growing up years. Charlie was born around 1913 with Down’s Syndrome. He never learned to read and write and never held a job. He was fortunate that my mother was committed to honoring her mother’s request to take care of him. Now, how did the cultural value of having the equal right as an individual to achieve work for Charlie? Having the equal right to achieve individually is of no benefit to people like Charlie.

Now let’s look at the collectivist culture which places emphasis on the “group as the basic unit of survival.” In those cultures, accomplishments and successes may be viewed as an honor to the group. They view what one does from the standpoint of how it reflects on the family or community. I heard recently of how a dad’s status in the community was elevated tremendously when his son or daughter was chosen to come to the U.S. to study. It changed their lives significantly. I would also say that tribal cultures would be much more likely to care for extended family members who are limited in ability. But just as equality and individualism as values don’t work for all, neither does collectivism. It is true that individuals can bring honor to their group, but they can also bring shame and disgrace. We have read of extreme cases where women have been killed because their conduct brought dishonor to the family.

So what does this say about our response to the problem of poverty in the United States? I think we may need to think a little more closely about attitudes toward those who cannot achieve for themselves for one reason or another. We may need to step outside the cultural values that are so ingrained and see if they really fit the situation for a particular person who is poor, hungry, and/or homeless. We may sometimes need to take a more collectivist view that we are a community of people and we can all stand together to achieve success instead of insisting that everyone must stand for himself.

Fog Advisory Area: Are You Fun to Be Around?

2012-02-25T01:48:50Z

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be around positive, happy people than to be with those who complain, groan, criticize, and tell me about what they don’t like. It seems to me that lately many people who talk about religion and politics are always mad. They are telling people what they are against. I am just not that interested in what you’re against. I want to know what you’re for. I think that’s the reason I like working with people whose goal it is to help others.

Every time I walk into the Bagwell Food Pantry at the Faith Center I hear laughter. I look at the people packing bags of groceries and setting them on long tables and see smiles on their faces. The expressions show that those working there are having fun and I feel a warm reception when I enter the room. When I enter the office area, I hear gentle instructions to those coming to get groceries from the pantry. I hear expressions of gratitude from those getting help and often a "God bless you" from both helpers and recipients of help. There is a relaxed, caring, and positive atmosphere in the whole place. I sense that the people working there love what they are doing. I see the same thing when I help prepare the Tuesday evening “Meals and More” at the Christian church each month. Most of the people who come to help do so because they truly enjoy helping others. None of them spend much time worrying about whether the people they serve deserve help. The conversations are light and many humorous stories are shared as the sandwiches are put together. No one really cares what your theology is. You may be Baptist, Catholic, Presbyterian, Methodist, or Jewish. What you have in common is the biblical admonition to help the poor—so that’s the bond. Neither does it matter what your political beliefs are. Republicans and Democrats work right along beside one another, and enjoy the common commitment to share an encouraging word and a few sandwiches with those less fortunate than they are.

While there are times when we may honestly disagree on religion and politics, our goal should always be to find ways we can work together on common goals rather than spend our time finding ways we disagree. Focusing on disagreements and differences brings us down and makes us suspicious of one another. I’m not sure whether it’s just that positive, happy people tend to like to help others, or that helping others makes us happier people. But I think there is something in the human spirit that is fed by helping those less fortunate. It makes us happy to feel useful and needed. So if you want to enjoy life and be fun to be around, try hanging out with those who are helping others. They seem to be the happiest people, and you might just like it!

Fog Advisory Area: Do You Know Enough Poor People?

2012-02-20T01:06:01Z

Several Sundays ago our pastor was talking about helping the poor. He referred to those who complain about the poor taking advantage of the system and being lazy, and then he said, “If you think that most of the poor people are like that, you don’t know enough poor people.” The statement stayed in my mind. In order to make judgments on a group of people, whether it’s an economic group, racial group, religious group, or any other, we have to know many people who fit into that group. In research we call it a “sampling.” To have validity, the sampling must be large enough to make assumptions about the group as a whole.

The truth is, however, that we often come to conclusions about a group of people after observing only one or two people in that group. I was listening to a conversation at a conference this weekend in which a lady was saying that when she was eight years old, she had gone to New York with her mother. She had found a gift for her father and she had just enough money to buy the gift. While she was waiting to pay, she dropped a quarter and a man stepped on the quarter and would not move. She said that he said, “Welcome to New York, little girl!” She said, “I know now that not all New Yorkers are like that man, but I still don’t like New York.” When thinking of the poor and the homeless, we must often overcome the stereotypes that have been created either by us or by someone else before we can decide what our response should be to the “least of these.” I am now reading a new book by Silas House called Same Sun Here in which a girl from India living in New York is a pen pal to a boy from Eastern Kentucky. He writes to the girl, “I have never met anybody from New York City before. I’ve always heard that people from up there are real rude and will not hold the door for you, and you’ll get mugged if you walk down the street. Is this true? My mamaw says it is probably a stereotype, which I looked up in the dictionary and it means, ‘an oversimplified opinion.’” Later in the book he says that some think that people from Eastern Kentucky are “stupid hillbillies.” He is fortunate that he has adults around him who understand about stereotypes and he also experiences first-hand how making these kinds of judgments can hurt people.

After getting to know many people who have economic problems, we generally realize that they are all different. With some of them we sympathize greatly, and with others we become impatient and want them to do their part to solve their problems. In an earlier blog I mentioned that the best way to help people is to establish a relationship with them and learn what is really going on in their lives. When we do this, we will be able to make wise decisions about how to help. I remember when I was a teenager my mother volunteered to keep a fourteen-month old girl while her mother was in the hospital having her third child. My sister and I loved having the baby there. We bought her some clothes and played with her almost like a doll. After the mother went home from the hospital, days went by and they did not come to get the little girl. That suited my sister and me fine, but my mother said no. She understood that we would all become very attached to the child. But my mother knew that eventually, when it suited them, the parents would come for her. So she packed her up and took her home to her family. She made the right decision of course, but we were not old enough to understand what was needed in this situation.

I have observed that there are a few in every economic class of people who will take advantage of the system and will not work hard to do their part. If they are in a family that has much money, they’ll take advantage of parents, brothers, and sisters. If their family has limited resources, they may let co-workers or friends do their part or pay their way, and if they have none of these options, they’ll take what they can from the government with or without working for it. However, in most cases, I think that people would rather work for what they get and they feel better about themselves when they do so. When I talk to those who receive food at our “Meals and More” program, most of them seem extremely thankful to get the food and many of them would obviously rather be able to buy their own food. Some of them are working and trying to make ends meet on what they make. I often hear others talking about efforts they have made to find work or leads they have about jobs. As far as any judgment that I could make about this segment of the population as a whole, I just don’t see that they’re that different from any other—except that they seem hungry enough to stand out in the rain and cold for a while to get a little bag with a few sandwiches in it.

Fog Advisory Area: How Good Do the Poor Have to Be to Deserve Help?

2012-02-11T03:08:28Z

I was reading a story today about a young girl who had posted a nasty letter about her parents on Facebook, and after finding it, her father posted a video response. Obviously upset by both her criticism and her language, he read the letter she had written and responded to her allegations, then ended his response by shooting holes in her laptop computer with his pistol. There were several responses to his video, some positive and some negative. Two things were obvious to me as I listened to her letter and his response. First, this was a family that had not been hit severely by the downturn in the economy; and second, in every segment of society there are people with what my husband calls “OPD”—Offensive Personality Disorder. They say inappropriate things, they’re not grateful, they complain, they misuse what is given to them, they invade your space. Poor people are no exception. When you help the poor, it’s important to recognize this fact. Not all of them will bow and thank you profusely for everything you do. Some will, of course, but many will do something to offend.

During conversations about helping the poor, I often hear people relating stories about their attempts to help someone ending with some offensive behavior or language on the part of the person they tried to help. Often it appears that the person’s desire to help the poor is diminished because the people they tried to help didn’t seem to appreciate it or they misused what was given them. They just did not seem to deserve help.

This raises the question “How good do the poor have to be to deserve help?”

I tried to find some evidence in the Bible to help with that answer. I read the passages where Jesus said to feed the hungry, but I couldn’t find any qualifications. If a person is hungry, he needs food, period. No offensive behavior changes that. In fact, the stress of being hungry may actually make a person do or say things he/she otherwise might not do. I have occasionally become irritated with the waitress because of the service when I was tired and hungry. I would guess that’s also true of many of the poor we attempt to help, except I was probably an hour late for a meal, and they may be days late. They are tired of being dependent upon others, tired of the stares, tired of the pity, tired of waiting in lines, tired of being told there is no job again today. Then someone tries to help and they take out their frustration on the helper.

Other issues regarding deserving help are how hard a person has tried to get work or how much he already has. I often hear people talk about the fact that a person has a cell phone, he was brought to a soup kitchen in a nice car, he has a satellite dish in his yard, etc. When we only know one thing about a person, it is often easy to make assumptions that are incorrect. The best way to help people is to establish a relationship with them so that we can understand what real problems they may have, but if we are just giving out food we probably need to refrain from judgment on those we help. They may look perfectly healthy to us because we can’t see the illness they have. They may seem ungrateful and even angry at us, but we can’t see the condition of their hearts.

The fact is that fitting into our society is a major challenge for many of the poor in our country. They just don’t have what it takes to succeed materially or socially. But that does not mean they don’t deserve help. Maybe the help they need is learning how to navigate in their society, or maybe it’s just a meal, but we should be careful of setting up artificial standards for them to meet in order to be worthy of our help.

Fog Advisory Area: What Is a Home?

2012-02-04T00:38:54Z

Last week I talked about the homeless in terms of housing and having a place to stay. However, one of the saddest things about being homeless has little to do with having a place to sleep. Home means so much more than shelter. Robert Frost, in “The Death of the Hired Man,” said that “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” The poem is about a man who is similar to many people who find themselves homeless. Warren and Mary are not relatives, but they have to take him in. Silas is “…just the kind that kinsfolk can’t abide.” There are many definitions of home, but this poem seems to illustrate the concept more than any other explanation I’ve heard. Silas was a day laborer who worked for Warren during the off seasons, but during the busy season, he would be lured off with higher pay. Somehow he knew that Warren and Mary would always take him back when times got bad. He went to them, rather than to his successful brother down the road.

Many of us have had a place where we felt safe, sheltered, and loved at some time in our lives. Often it is attached to a small, but comfortable space somewhere in the past. My own childhood home was in a small rural area of Southeastern Kentucky. We (my mother, father, sister and I) moved there when I was about three or four years old. At that time it was a four-room frame house. It faced a dirt road out in the country, mostly surrounded by woods. My sister and I had no fear of the woods around our house, so we built playhouses with fallen limbs for walls, green moss for covering furniture, and wild flowers for decorations. Occasionally something might scare us, like the time our older city cousin visited and told us there were wild hogs out there and ran back toward the house, causing us to run frantically after her. But most of the time it never occurred to us to worry about any harm because we were close to a safe place called home. Our safety was assured by our mom and dad, as was our well-being in all ways. We had few material things in those days, but we were loved and that was most important. It still is. The house, although it was remodeled and increased in size when I was a teenager, continued to be a modest house with a few more conveniences throughout much of my adulthood. After my parents died, my sister and I kept it for about ten years, renting it out to a nice couple. Eventually we decided that we needed to sell it after we realized that neither of us would ever go back there to live. Although I’m a bit sad when I pass by it, I am fortunate that my current home also provides that same feeling of love and safety that my childhood home did.

The truth is that if people become homeless, they almost certainly have no place that feels like a home, so they are missing much more than just a place to sleep at night. Relatives and friends have all given up on them, and just as poor Silas had, they often have “nothing to look backward to with pride, and nothing to look forward to with hope.”

One of the things the Davies Shelters have tried to do for the men and women who are guests there is to help them develop some sense of home and family by encouraging them to help one another and work together to provide a well-kept house, find employment, and eventually make other living arrangements. This is a way to help them fill the void in their lives when they arrive. Providing food and shelter is important but it does not necessarily give a person a feeling of home. This is done through shared work, laughter, tears, and mutual stories of accomplishment. On many occasions when I’ve visited the shelter, I’ve heard stories of guests who have helped one another through difficult circumstances, defended one another, and returned to the shelter after leaving to volunteer their time to help other guests. If homeless people are to recover their sense of home, they need more than just food and a place to sleep.

Fog Advisory Area: Looking Good in My Home

2012-01-28T01:21:13Z

In small towns and rural areas, it is not unusual to see homes in one community that reflect a wide range of economic successes. A huge brick or stone house may sit on a large piece of well-kept property adjoining a small run-down shack or mobile home on a small overgrown plot of land. People in those homes often go to church together, shop in the same local grocery store, and sometimes work in their gardens alongside one another. Most of the time they know each other pretty well. So most of the people who have done really well know some who haven’t and often know why they have not done so well.

In more heavily populated urban areas, there are whole communities where houses look very much alike, or at least they look like they have cost about the same. In these areas, we often buy our homes, not because they are convenient to our workplace, but because they are in a neighborhood that fits our ability to pay. So most of the people in our neighborhoods are of a similar social status as we are. Someone once said that in terms of the value of your house, the “best place to live is in the least expensive house on the more expensive street.” So what we often do is to look in a neighborhood just beyond our means and hope that the price of one of the houses has been lowered to a price we can afford! Because the houses are generally grouped according to price, we see whole neighborhoods that look really good and those that look really run-down. We talk to new people who are seeking houses about “good neighborhoods” and “bad neighborhoods.”

This brings us to the question of what impact our residence has on our worth . How stable does my home have to be for my life to be of worth? On a scale beginning with a mansion and going downward to being homeless, at what point exactly does where we live mean that we are less important? At the top, we have home owners-- mansions, large homes, medium and small homes. Then we have mobile homes. One well-known author says that as a child he was playing on the lawn in front of the mobile home his family owned when some people drove by and yelled “trailer trash” at him and his brother. He said that those people didn’t care that the lawn was neat, the home was clean, and his family worked hard to have a comfortable place to live. They just looked at the fact that their home was a mobile home. As a successful writer, he has never forgotten the hurt it caused him. Now let’s look at other living options. In addition to owning homes people may choose to rent houses, apartments, or condos, and pay a monthly fee. Like homes that are purchased, these may be very expensive and on a par with some of the above, or may be located in “undesirable” neighborhoods. When people are unable to either own or rent a place to live, they may be forced to move in with family or friends. If that is not an option, they may live in their vehicle for a while, or if they can afford it, stay in a motel. When that fails, they seek a shelter where other people without a home stay, or they are forced to stay outside, under a bridge maybe, or sleep on a park bench. One reason some people do not seek shelter at all is that it demands that they admit they are homeless.

From the viewpoint of our society, the best place to be is at the top—living in a huge mansion or house that is well-furnished and well-stocked with food, beverages, and all the modern conveniences. But living that way often costs us. If we look behind those fancy curtains we may see tears and anguish, broken relationships, and dashed hopes. So the fact that we have our mansion doesn’t necessarily make us happy; it just makes us look better to other people. On the other hand, the worst thing to be in our society is homeless. When you have no place to live, you are nothing except homeless. People fear you, the police suspect you, and the people who try to help pity you. But nobody respects you for who you are. You may be gifted, intelligent, caring, and competent, but people generally don’t see you in any of those ways when you’re homeless.

I’ve been talking about how our society is, not whether that’s a good or bad thing. We place great value on the ability to own a nice home. It’s not just something the rich value. It’s the American way. It’s really not enough just to have shelter. We want to have more than just a warm, comfortable place to sleep. It is almost impossible for us to think outside this paradigm. Who wouldn’t want to live in a nice, well-kept home in a beautiful neighborhood? I don’t know anyone, do you? But what if we valued something else? What if, for example, the most important thing was to be generous? What if we judged ourselves and were judged according to how willing we were to give up what we had for someone else’s benefit? Or what if we valued hospitality above all else? What if our worth was tied to how hospitable we were to strangers? In the future we will look at some cultures where home ownership is not as important as it is to us.

Entering Fog Advisory Area

2012-01-20T22:19:12Z

“Where do you live?” That’s a simple enough question. It’s one we often use at social gatherings where we’re just getting to know people. The response may be something like, “Oh, I live out near Cave Spring” or “I live on Mt. Alto” or some other such statement. But what if the person you ask is homeless? You’re probably thinking, “Those kind of people wouldn’t be at the kind of parties I attend.” And you may be right. But the fact is that people who may be homeless now may well have been at your social gatherings in the past, because they weren’t always homeless.

On our last trip to Kentucky I had my note pad out and was trying to get my ideas together for a blog about homelessness. I looked up and saw a sign over the road that said “Entering Fog Advisory Area.” I thought the sign was an appropriate one for what I was feeling as I contemplated writing about homelessness. You might think that since I am married to a man who has his name on a homeless shelter( and who spends most of his time trying to help hungry and homeless people) that I would have very well-defined ideas about the homeless and could crank out volumes of material about the subject. But that is not the case. I struggle with what is the most helpful way to talk about this subject because the fact is that homelessness includes a vast array of problems, a wide assortment of people, and multiple attempts to solve the problems.

As I tried to list ideas to write about, I realized that my thoughts were mostly along the line of how we view the homeless, and my mind always goes back to a brief scenario a few years ago. Bill and I were driving down Second Avenue. When we got to the red light at Broad Street, he rolled his window down and spoke to a scraggly-looking man walking down the street (not an uncommon occurrence). They talked a minute until the light changed and we drove on.

“Who was that?” I asked.

“Oh, I used to know his dad, who worked at------. He had some trouble, got into drugs or something, lived outside a while, stayed at the shelter a while, ---------and you know, he’s just a friend of mine.” Bill always seems to see more than just “a homeless man.” He views homeless people in the same way he views people in other segments of society. Most of us have trouble getting past the “homeless” part.

In our society being homeless means much more than simply not having a place to sleep. In my next blog, I will plunge into the fog to explore some of the issues related to not having a permanent residence. My goal is to clarify my own thinking about the subject as much as to challenge readers to understand what it means not to have a home in a society where the worth of a person is often tied up with home ownership.

I invite you to join me each week as I attempt to challenge our thinking about different aspects of homelessness.

Resolution Sunday

2012-01-03T02:04:38Z

Sunday was designated as "Resolution Sunday" at our church, so I've been working on my resolutions. I usually devide my resolutions into three areas--physical, mental, and spiritual. One of my "mental" resolutions for this year is to get started with this whole business of blogging. I keep hearing that as an author, I need a blog to develop a "platform," and that it will help in getting my books published and promoted. My problem is that I'm having trouble deciding what my approach will be. I thought by setting up this blog, I could at least make a start. I have several ideas for my blogs, but so far I have not settled on a specific plan. Therefore, you'll just have to put up with this rambling for a while.

Welcome

2012-01-03T01:21:59Z

Welcome to my blog. Please check back soon for new entries.